Forgive, and forgive again - Matthew 18:21-35 - 2 Nov 2014

Introduction

Show video  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Dl5dqLz5M
2.3 billion dollars, that's about 1.5 billion pounds.  About the same as the EU says Britain owes – a truly huge sum of money.  The actual number is not the point, but just so that we get an understanding: a Talent is a measure of mass, in New Testament times it was equivalent to 58.9 kilograms (130lb)¹. In monetary terms we are probably talking of Silver, rather than Gold.  So that is 589, 000 kg of silver @ 36p a gram² = £212,040,000.  That's my calculation, but the point is that it is a debt I can't repay.  The debt the man refuse to forgive is just 100 days wages – whatever you earn that is payable over time.

Forgiveness – Background

The parable though is not about debt, it is about forgiveness.  The point is that as we are forgiven, so we should forgive.  Jesus is responding to Peters question asking how many times he should forgive a brother who sins against him.  It follows directly on from Jesus' instructions for dispute resolution that we heard Sue Mann talk to us about last week.
Peter comes to Jesus and asks “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? And the adds “Up to seven times?”. 

Peter is Learning

Peter demonstrates that he is learning by asking the question the way he does.  It was the common teaching of the rabbis that you should forgive three times.  Peter, knowing that Jesus extends things and expects better of His disciples than the religious leaders expect of the people, has already extended the limit to the number of times he should forgive.  Seven is not enough though.  Jesus suggests that 70 times 7 would be more appropriate.  So start counting.  See how far you get.  You may get to 7, 10, 12, but soon you will loose count, and by then the habit will be established.

Message of the Parable

The message of the parable is very simple: Forgive, because you have been forgiven something much greater. Fail to forgive and be set up for judgement.
Are we serious about forgiveness?
³There was a man who really loved dogs. He devoted his life to them ­ he read about them, studied them, and even gave talks about them to other dog lovers. One day he decided to lay a new path in front of his house. His neighbour watched from his window as he smoothed out the last square foot of cement.
Just then, a large dog appeared and walked through the fresh cement, leaving paw prints behind. The man muttered something under his breath and smoothed out the damage.
He then went inside to get some twine so he could put up a fence around the path. But, when he got back outside, he discovered some more dog tracks in his fresh cement. He smoothed out the cement and put up the fence.
He then went into the house. Five minutes later he looked outside and saw some more paw prints. He was really mad now. He got out his trowel and smoothed the cement one more time. As he got back to his porch, the dog reappeared and sat right in the middle of the path.
He went inside, grabbed his gun and shot the dog dead. The neighbour rushed over and said, “Why did you do that? I thought you loved dogs.” The man thought for a minute and said, “I do, I do like dogs. But that’s in the abstract. I hate dogs in the concrete.”
Forgiveness is a great idea in the abstract, but this morning we are going to look at it in the concrete.

What is forgiveness?

It is clear that Jesus says we should forgive and continue to forgive.  It's easy to say that you've forgiven someone, but true forgiveness is difficult and costly. 
If you have truly forgiven someone – lets say it is a close friend, or family member – then the relationship is restored to exactly the way it was before the hurt occurred.  It is more than avoiding them – that is not forgiveness at all. It is more than simply ignoring them or being polite but distant.  Neither of those approaches are really forgiveness.  If you were pleased to see them and wanted the best for them before the incident, then that is how the relationship must work after it if you have forgiven them. 
Take a minute to think about a time when you have been hurt by someone you love – really hurt.
[Pause]
How is that relationship now – does it work the same way it did before?
I remember that Tom Loh preached on forgiveness at Come Together and posed a similar question.  I thought about it – and missed some of the rest of his sermon.  I think I have only every really practiced forgiveness properly once.

Our forgivenness and its Cost

We are forgiven by our Father God.
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
Micah 7:9 You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
And
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
When we first decided to follow Jesus we were probably asked to say a prayer confessing our sins this is Billy Graham's⁴ version:
Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Saviour. In Your Name.
Amen.
If it is said sincerely, then our offences before God are forgiven and we can become part of the family of God.  It doesn't stop us sinning – which is offending God – so we continually have to return to that prayer, or something similar – and confess our sins.  That is the reason that we say the confession near the start of each service.
God's forgiveness is greater than ours – He can forget our sins, that is something that we cannot do when we are sinned against.
God's forgiveness is costly, it cost Jesus his life, as it says in 1 Peter 3:18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.
Our forgiveness also has a cost.  Aside from the efforts of reconciliation that we must make to put things right – the things we heard about last week – there is also the hurt that must be put to one side.

Dangers of Unforgiveness

Whatever has happened cannot be changed.  If we are to forgive and move on we must avoid the three 'R's

Revenge ­ “I’m going to get even!”

Revenge says “I'm going to get even”.  Far from making things better this is an escalation.  Getting even rarely ends in even, in fact it rarely ends.  Your attempts to repay in kind for your hurt will always cause greater hurt than you received.  The likely outcome is that further revenge will be visited on you, and so the cycle of escalation will continue.  This is where blood feuds come from, as the hurt is passed from parent to child and so on down the years.

Resentment ­ “I’m going to stay angry!”

Resentment says “I'm going to stay angry”.  Prolonged anger is bad for you physically, mentally and spiritually.  The only person who suffers with this approach is you.  Your anger becomes a focus of life for you, to the exclusion of all else.  Everyone else in the world has moved on, soon no-one will understand why you are angry – even if you spend a lot of time telling them.  You will end up as bitter and resentful – and nothing will have changed.

Remembering ­ “I’ll never forget!”

Remembering says “I'll never forget”.
Hillary Clinton said “In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7. Well, I want you all to know that I'm keeping a chart.”
I have no idea of the context, whether it was about Bill, or whether it was meant as a joke – I hope it was.
For a while forgetting is hard, and refreshing the memory is easy, but it should soon become less so – otherwise you will end up living in the past and today will become irrelevant.

Benefits for Forgiveness

Avoiding the three 'R's means that the hurt we have suffered is not amplified and reinforced by our own attitudes.  Falling for the three 'R's – Revenge, Resentment, Remembering leads us away from peace and damages our life.
[Slide]
Lewis Smedes said “When I genuinely forgive, I set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner I set free was me.”
When I fail to forgive it is me that suffers, it follows that when I genuinely forgive, it is me that benefits.

There is nothing that should not be forgiven

C.S. Lewis has said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
Not only are there no limits to the number of times we are forgiven, there are no limits to the things we should forgive.

Continue to forgive

Jesus has given the disciples this message before, back in Matthew 6:15, after teaching them how to pray He says:
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Many times when I speak to you it is difficult to understand exactly what the scripture is trying to say, this morning it is crystal clear.  If we call ourselves Christian there is no excuse not to forgive, and that is the only way we will continue to be forgiven by our Father.  Paul has the same message for the Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Forgiving is hard

[Slide]
Indira Gandhi said “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave”.  That certainly put forgiveness at the top of the list of list of the things we should be doing in our lives. It also recognises that forgiving is hard, Jesus as always goes further and asks us to be prepared to be brave and repeat the exercise time and again. 
That I cannot do without His help.  So lets pray for His help – that the Holy Spirit will prompt us to be forgiving, and give us the strength to carry it out.

Final Prayer

5Father, Your Word tells us that if we forgive those who have sinned against us, then You, our Heavenly Father, will forgive us.  But, if we refuse to forgive others, You will not forgive us of our sins.  Today we choose to forgive. Father, we declare that we will be patient with people and forgive those who have offended us.   I forgive                for                           , and I release them and let it go.  Father, forgive me for my sins.  You said that if I confess my sins to You, You are faithful and just to forgive me and cleanse me from all wickedness.  Therefore, Father, please forgive me for _________________.

References

1 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talent_%28measurement%29
2 http://www.postalbullion.com/silver-price-per-grams-week-gbp-5.aspx
3 http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/the-standard-of-grace-brian-bill-sermon-on
salvation-57667.asp
4 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinner%27s_prayer